Last weekend I was flipping through Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest, one of my absolute favorite devotionals. One of the ideas that jumped out to me was exposed the mentality that if I hear God and I obey His calling, He will make me successful. God's ultimate purpose in giving me a command must be my success, right? (Or, if the concept of "success" has negative connotations, I can easily substitute "fruitfulness." God's ultimate purpose in giving me a command must be my fruitfulness, right?)
I think this expectation is much more present in my life than I realize. I am willing to take great risks for God because of the underlying assumption that success or 'fruit' is on the immediate other side. "Lord, you want me to move out to Wyoming to work without a salary for a non-profit outdoor ministry? Awesome!! You must have a ton of immediately-gratifying work for me to do!" It sometimes works that way, and it's great when it does! The problem is that I quickly expect things to always be that way. I grow frustrated and feel unfulfilled when my obedience to God doesn't lead to me feeling immediately happy, successful, or useful.
God is concerned with our holiness, not simply our fruitfulness. Fruit overflows from holiness, but it can never be the other way around. Fruit produced by my own strength or for my own agenda quickly rots.
There are a lot of strong commands regarding bearing fruit in Jesus' teachings (Matthew 3:10, Matthew 7:16-20, Matthew 21:43, Luke 3:8-9, etc.), so I don't want to belittle the importance of bearing good fruit. I recognize that it is so important to "let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds [good fruit] and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16) Fruit is important! but it is not the most important. Jesus gives us a sobering reminder in John 15: "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. [...] Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." (ESV) I've written on this before, but it is still something I so quickly forget:
God calls us to obedience so that we may abide with Him. It is through our abiding with Him that He brings about holiness in our lives.
Obedience is the means to the end of intimacy with our Savior, our Lord, our King. Fruitfulness or success can never be our ultimate end for obedience. If fruitfulness or success is the end that I'm seeking, I've made fruit the object of my worship...my idol. I've focused more on my sacrifice than the One to whom I offer it. I'm more concerned with what I think the Lord wants than with patiently waiting and continuing with faithful obedience, regardless of how long it takes for Him to reveal His purposes.
Are we really so foolish that we can think to manipulate the Almighty by obeying Him with our own agenda in our hearts? "God, I will obey You so that You can bring about the results I desire." Lord, teach me to obey You without an agenda! Teach me to obey You with a heart that desires intimacy with You above all else. Give me a heart that rejoices in fruit, but that does not turn to the fruit for satisfaction and affirmation. Give me a craving for intimacy with You that leads to holiness; guard me from feeling that fruit entitles me to holiness or intimacy with You. It is by Grace alone that I can abide with You. Thank You for Your Grace!
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